memories-
Thursday, August 12, 2004
well, gonna make this entry quite ambiguous la..
well i guess im gonna giv up soon.. my efforts are getting nowhere 
hmm this morning went to school.. felt kinda excited one..at ferst. den went to school talked to mabel.. den went down lorh.. (oooh talknig abt flag raising, mr kiw horh..acted like he was sum big ming xing on yesterday, when the vp announced that he won sum award. so bloodi funny man! den he was wavin here and there summore.. so untypical of him.
)
den lessons lorh. haiz.. was like waiting for sum response one. but when it finally came..it made me quite sad. im not angry, just sad. yup.. and becoz i overheard sumthing that i dun think that im suppose to hear oso la. so yes.juz liddat la. that was the whole issue of the day. sad. it made me feel like im so childish and innocent. yet i refused to cry. 
the whole day i gotta make myself nice. well.. like during pe, during chinese.. its like im so sick of doing it already..when i dun get a response u noe, but yet i feel kinda uneasy when i dun do these stuff..guess its just in me..
during recess, did two things that made me feel better.. kinda self-join waikit's and pangkiat's recess..hope they din mind la..but ya..remember i was talking abt wad i wanna do in the last two entries?. yup. den after that, went co room.. sacred room siah.. saw khai qi and jenny there..talk awhile.. den we watched video ..kewl siah! laugh so much la. chee..
den lessons again lorh.. u noe i like to vent my bei fen in my heart out on la..so i sing song..but no matter sing as much as possible oso the same..haiz. last night i literally screamed out the lyrics lorh..coz one bro at home ma.. yup..so lessons la. den felt so irritated.. irritative..haha easily agitated. so angry at fang. just for no particular reason.
after school met kelvin w. den went chem lab for physics time-practice .. hahaha ok la.. i was just lazy to think alot but its quite ok la.. bet i'll do better in it than geog. yup, taking back geog time-prac papers tml..
den aft time-prac, went CO room again la.. den junmin, khaiq, waikit, pangkiat and huiling were in the room..stayed there awhile before gg parkwae to meet wanting, mabel, cherlyn and jiehui.. ya.. den reached parkwae like so many many ppl there lorh.. becoz of the silly Swensen's promotion thingy.. i wanna go eat tml.. 5 topless scoops for $1.39.. chee. haha saw alot of VJC ppl, and dunmanians esp..
went there, den mabel, me and wanting went marine parade library to studee la.. den ya lorh... did finish the hw that i planned to finish today.. haha den if im not wrong, i think mason went to the library too..think only la.. like saw sumone like him from the 2nd floor.. den stay there till like 5.30pm den went home.
just like yesterday, i overshot! but luckily by one stop only..so walked back la..as usual, listening to FM97.2 again.. cuz now guoxian change shifts la.now he working with xiaoying for the 5pm-8pm slot.. very good..
listening to him just lightens my heart..
i'm just like a sampan boat drifting in waters- choppy waters.
this year is just a big *boom* 
to me la.. experienced alot of things.. mebbe this is just part of growin up.. had alot alot of ferst times for this year.( and another ferst time last year).. of cuz i can learn something from anything.. managed to try to ponder about the happenings den get sumthing out of it to learn. like these few days had another ferst time. this mission, ive failed terribly. shouldn haf gone to thailand at all.. but if i din wun haf learnt anything more.. i guess its mebbe those few that ive judged..and obviously ME.. guess the rest are not feelin liddat..yup.
life is just so wierd.
like i can always find something good out of everything not good and something really bad out of something good. doesn really make sense la..but i guess the biology time prac.. was one of the "something good" out of those bad days..wonder how i managed to squeeze those info into my brain that was not even paying attention..still reemmber that thursday before the time prac, i was in school, den walk to 30 bus stop..den went to the lib..den poor mabel..den got the yinghao..blah blah..couldn study.. today while i was walking back from library.. den think back la.. like all the tests and timeprac and exams i din really put in 100% of effort la.. just like arnd 60% only.. so mebbe if i could just work really hard, mebbe i can achieve something.. tis a little too late to discover this facct now la..but can try? but that's provided i can pao all my troubles to cloud nine right?haiz..
fightin' a fierce battle with studies, friendship and life..
mebbe i shud jus give up-totally. but juz cant bring myself to it. i think im cumin back to the same conclusion that i had just after china trip. another thing is that i feel that im totally stressin myself out... but ive done nothing to push myself u know.. like merely scaring myself with the fact that prelims are approaching but doing nothing to study or anything.. next is ya..i hate growin up..but i guess its kinda fun sumtimes too..
...and there she goes.. gone with the wind..
its really a wierd scene after school today..its either a disaster or good thing for me la..either way..mebbe i do benefit...
20:49
-keeps me alive
