memories-
Saturday, October 09, 2004
i've been slacking since the end of prelims.. think i've wasted too much time. much as i dun like my results, i'm slacking for moz of da time.. like reading books...
the past one week has been pretty chiong.. haf alot of homework especially chemistry and maths, as usual. ok la at least i do them obediently.
geez, having a splitting headache now.. guess haf been a couch potato for today..prob tt why. every time got headache will affect my mouth neck n hand la..so my mouth will get real tense up.. den e teeth bite together real hard.. unconsciously..
hmm..just told dad the prelims results yesterday.. drag for so long.. ha he was happy..i hope os results come back, he wun be disappointed. haf dis feeling that i;ll not do better. where to like get help for eng in two weeks?
something happened yesterday in school. it was kinda like the last day of skool ya noe.. den e teachers weere like hmmm so nice and sweet.. even tan jen fee managed to win me over..miss pear oso. den end of chinese lessons, we lazily said xie xie wu lao shi.. den she was like last dae of skl still liddat..den sumone suggested singing a song.. so we sang yue liang dai biao we de xin for her..den all of us kinda high cos her period was free period.. den miss fang happened to come in to announce sumthing. hey! i thought she would like laugh along kinda thing... in the end... u noe.. she became jealous ! ah wdh.. den she scolded us with sum chinese word la.. sumthing like "hou zi bao bi".. den she stormed off sayin" all the efforts i've put in"... ah den we were all damn shocked.. no mood to haf lessons la.. blah blah... (---censored---) after school..held a mini party.. with a cake and card.. den don went to call fang downstairs.. i wuz so scared until i u noe.. ya la.. den expected la, she came down and like "if this is so forced..." blah blah.. grrr (---censored---) den fang went so paiseh after sum "explaining" den don was like see la u make sharon cry alrdy.. den she came to hug me. eeks. suddenly i feel so angry? wusnt scared anymore. i guess i shant explain more too..
went back hostel.. wanting to clean up the room..thot weiqi will be there la.. den she not there.. in the end had to do it alone.. arghz. den huimin came to help.. (thanks lots!) [---censored---]
after left hostel hastily, went to woodlands.. help coriander cafe. whoa so busy! that i dun even haf time to glance at the tvee.. so many impatient customers den i had to appease them! dunnoe wad the workers there are paid for man! luckily still got ppl who know how to zuo ren.. so busy la..until forget all my troubles.. -temporarily- so ya... workin urself out is one way to destress..
kinda conclusion..so until we meet, cya-
os is in two weeks' time..
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another complaining session? i'm becuming more and more unsatisfied day by day..or mebbe week by week. i begin to feel that im jus doing too much. and the situation is kinda like history repeating.. mebbe i do feel sorry for myself- for bringing myself down to salvage the situation then. if i had not.. mebbe things would not have becum like that. things are kinda worse these days.. its always my mouth working. and i dun understand what draws her to her.. and what draws them to her.. its so irritating. but i guess bad ppl will be revealed sooner or later.
this week, i obeserved sumthings.. ppl are often selfish noe.. not tt im condeming anyone.. its just the way things work. but there's definitely one person that i know who can confirm this fact. *eeks* i no longer treat her as god. sorry guys..its eirks me just to picture her in my mind.
that dae lijun let me do a small personality test kinda thing.. and its real real true.. i guess for me.. mebbe i guess they r right, one day, i shall be driven to my wits end.. and the word they used was " qiao bian zi".. so mean la.. ok wadever..so i gotta try to be mean to ppl? and start refusing? ha- i've tried man.. and ppl jsut think i suddenly xing qing bu hao or kinda thing u noe.. guess its tt they r so used to me being like this and suddenly im like that. livin in a world like mine is so difficult.
whad ppl see is just the layer of impervious aluminium oxide...not the aluminium.. right now what i need is sumthing like hydrochloric acid. gettit? wads more, pure metal aint good.. too soft.
its been..more than one year..one year and few months.. haiz.. u noe, the thought keep cummin back to me. hey..dun laugh is not that i cant forget, its just i remember. tt day i wuz disappointed..i beein looking forward to be able to send a message without hesitating...and to read the reply with a smile.. but it did not happen. but i still keep the message.
cant sae out alot of things i wanna jus splurt out now..haiz..just wait bah.. wad can i sae? history repeated itself 4yrs later/ i cannot stand sum ppl/ i haf cravings/ i want ppl tt ive lost back/ i wanna metamorphosize!
again, livin sucks.. wake up man.. concentrate on ur os now. i cant belief tt ive just been nice to sumone i dun like.
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right now, wanna wish all da sec1-sec3s good luck for end of yrs.
23:15
-keeps me alive
