memories-
Saturday, January 22, 2005
im in a super bloody mixed feeling now. 
in d morning i was scared. went for canoeing at kallang river. d river water tasted horribly salty when we were made to take our swim test there. hmm quite tough cus d river got current bah, compared to CHS swimming pool-but advantage is no need wear d swimmin costume so embarassin. anyway my hands r already rotting. but it was great fun! i didn capsize at all ok.
later in d afternoon i was shag but satisfied. i walked frm where we canoed all d way to dunman. yeah. too long never walk long distance liao.. got better things to do. walked until legs damn tired..reached in time.. d chouwei meeting hasn ended yet. wah but damn paiseh go there everybody knew i went canoein (!!) n everyone was admiring d new HC pe tee! yeah i agree its very nice.
then i was ".........dots........", initially i was quite pissified. went to see dem fenzu aft d meeting. i thought it was an all sec3 fenzu?? den went to bathe at dunman toilet! wah sense of achievement man. 2nd time i bathed there.. sum ppl 4 yrs in dunman nv even bathe there once. muahahs. anyway overall i was quite in a happy, crappy mood.
WENT OUT! lalals- with zhonghu juniors yexiang wenjing wangui shuhui tszshan yingchun yayin- to parkway. i was damn crazily high all d way. den we went MOS to eat. it was then i started thinking why in d world am i so high. 
am i cheating myself n d others again? jus to pretend im a strong ass. jus to show tt nothing deep ever runs in my thoughts? jus to giv d impression that i dun give a damn abt wads been happening so far?
after d rest left, yexiang wangui me pei wenjing shoppin awhile. den both d busy yeixang n wangui left.. pang seh me 
~! lols so left wif d two of us. walked in parkway parade, walked outside parkway parade- jus to look for sumthing wenjing wants to find. den at d busstop- saw meizhen, karen n another non xyz-ian. gees i like to see ppl i know outside! lalals-
took bus w her to bedok. d bus journey was v.nice la- cos talked quite abit of stuff on it. 
yeahs. den bedok go walk arnd oso. wah d weather really v.hot today. wad she said n how she reacted whn i said sumthing really made my heart bleed when i think of what she said abt us.
aft everything tt has gotta do wif xyz ended.. i went to plaza sing to shop arnd again. i met shiqi, yinghong n their CT frens there.. woohoo.walked d whole plaza sing except for the cinema level. good exercise huh? my legs r like dying, my hand rotting frm carrying d thick (i mean really thick) physics ref book tt tszshan gaf me. but at least i managed to buy stuff for both my angel n mortal.. frm marks n spencer! lols- den really buay tahan alr i left for home. *damn shag*
anyway horh..i dun really like d angel mortal game. my money is like wasted on gifts. but i enjoy writing d letters..
i jus read an sms: doing things for the sake of others. do u realise that's d ONLY thing i can do? hais.
i heard what tszshan said: (replying) dun worree. i haf nothing wrong with me. im open to anything. hais. seriously i wun want history to repeat itself again. ive been hit by d tsunami sumwhere after last june. i dun want to be hit anymore. but i keep telling myself tt it isn me who needs to make d first step. for both d cases. what i hope is: together, d tsunami can b prevented? im dis person who loves lyin to herself. im behavin exactly like what i did last year end. what i do doesn coincide with what i stongly feel in d inside.but seriously speaking. my interest is dwindling. i dun haf d patience for im tired...
today at MOS. d nxt table was laughin like crazy. well i could only have ONE of the two i guess.. if not for everything tt had happened, id be sitting there happily chattin away too. well, but im happy at my table also, although im d only one frm my batch..as usual. i felt so damn at ease w/o d two other guys frm my batch. seriously whenever they appear i feel like im being banished to such a low level. ok i dun dislike them but cant they jus put away their guyish thoughts for once? its such a mistake. i thought alot after MOS food.. d moments there wasn really nice. i wasn in a veri happy mood. anyway tuan yuan fan's coming. i admit i DO harbour d thoughts of not turning up. i'll probably go becos im supposed to go? n i want to see nice ppl there? n its supposedly organised by my batch. (hhahaha like since when? *very sacarstic*) oh how i wish life will change for d better. i was cheated whn i thot it was during my peak during d dec holidays.
i dun haf much to say. shall cook noodles for my dinner! cyahs
a scar will always b a scar.but wouldn it b better than a bleeding wound? d wound will heal sumtime later. but why not perfect d scar by stiching d wound?
salt can b washed out. sodium chloride can dissolve..
an apple wouldn like to be picked. but it understands later why. when it can do so much good to mankind. better than living to rot.
d initiative is meant to be taken. but few can take it.
20:18
-keeps me alive
