memories-
Sunday, February 06, 2005
my day was bad. it started bad n its still bad.
was quite pissed with my mum in the morning. lets not say abt it here. i shall summarise it with im not gonna talk alot to her next time for she always counter my words n always lead me to think ALOT. something she said. made me think of tuanyuanfan. which leads me to think about that. which then brings me to the msia trip. everything is so screwed.
i read siyuan's blog. if the silly joke does continue in msia. it wun even brighten my trip much.
i couldn even take it yesterday when there was only one representative there. its really very 心酸 to haf to act like i duno her when i actually want to talk to her, crap with her, or jus say a simple hi. does the fault really lie with me? 我做错了吗? maybe its wrong to associate her with the rest but its inevitable.. 所以我到现在还不明白: 到底是你不开口还是我不开口.
everyone who knows does seem to understand. but the fact is they dont. they don't understand how much they actually mean to me. ok. i don't understand why im still dwelling on this matter after so long..but being an idiot with no one to talk to is like that. 过去的友谊真的就这样算了吗? 你们能做的到,我不行. 没什么交代,至少让我有个心理准备也好..就这样"砰"的一声巨响什么都结束了.一切也就罢了.
everyone tells me not to bother, not to do anything. and now what happens? everything is reflected back to myself again.. jus when ive been living quite happily for the past week. im so bored now. im tired of thinking. and just when im quietly sitting in my room facing the computer, memories of the past flowing through my mind..my mum thinks that im happily chaating away with my pals. what irony. she'll scold me for crying as well. its ridiculous. who have i now? me, my blog and i. soon, my parents will go out..and there's myself left at home. the quiet..the peacefulness.. on days it may seem a good time to complete my unfinished tutorials. but today it'd be jus more freedom to express myself.
things are really stupid. were human relationships made to be complicated or did the human race complicate them themselves? 至今, 有谁能了解我的感受? 又有谁能和我共同渡过难关? maybe its me who keeps complicating matters in my mind..maybe its me who thinks alot. 想起了和你们在一起的日子, 真令我感到很难受. 这要到什么时候才能结束? im a person standing alone.
天蝎座对于表达感情的方式较为含蓄，喜怒哀乐都不会很强烈的表露出来，有伤心的时候也会深埋心底，自已苦苦承受的同时也会在想反击的办法。
天蝎座-----最怕别人背叛他、怕没权威
surfed the web for info.. feel so much better. i shall do my tutorials and blog later.
13:50
-keeps me alive
