```iamsharonang--

memories-

Friday, March 18, 2005

I AM BACK! gee. did i sound happy and excited? the fact is that the mere sight of spore today makes me wanna puke. why cant i jus live in dreamland in msia for awhile longer? maybe forever? returning to reality isnt anywhere near nice- moaning the loss of my wallet. im gonna do my replacements tomorrow when ive already planned to do my hw. soon i'll be changing out of dunmans school uniform argh. cant i jus not graduate? then i can go thru gongyan all over again, i can take part in syf again n i think id rather study for os than go to a jc. arghs. but thats impossible im dreaming.

sigh. really mixed feelings about the conclusion to msiatrip2005-
as promised, heres a long long long (i predict) entry about every nitty gritty tellable detail of the trip.

11th march friday- woke up super early to get ready n took a cab to dunman with my brother. sigh, felt quite bored in the morning la, as ive feared. cus the duizhangs and cargo ppl were busy..so i became the helper to anyone who needs help. phews. some pple were later than the rest, then some of them feared that both of them wudn go for the trip afterall. but they came la in the end :) fortunately. after more ppl came.. i became less bored cus i went arnd socialising. HA. when the time for the bus boarding came, it was a little chaotic. red bus was late! hmms yup, as planned, certain ppl got the back rows. but of cus, a certain part of me was a little disappointed that some ppl wasnt sitting close by. spore customs cleared pretty quickly, only zhaomi had a little problems with her passport. at msia customs, it was pretty messy, cus noone helped the cargo ppl aka junda primero chinyong with their cargo. in d end i had to re-enter to help them. woo. den the bus headed for yongpeng. took arnd 2hrs. i slept most of the time because mrbean that was showing on the tv is a repeated one and i got really frustrated with my GP notes cus i dun understand a single piece of shit

at yongpeng. wow. saw 4 bigbigbig fishes. at yongpeng was toilet break and snack time. lols siwei decided to sleep on in the bus despite the driver chasing everyone else out. again on the bus..watched mrbean n slept. den the screened shanghainoon which i couldn be bothered to listen. great joke of d day was siwei who din get down at yongpeng. she was whining really terribly for toilets even before we reached our lunch venue. during lunch, i confirmed my hypothesis for the day, that 9+1=10, whilst i sat with waikit jenny siying khaiqi peifen zhuge binghuan yiliang. should i say i felt disappointed again? but i should haf like expected it? anyway ya, i ate a gazillion prawns. after lunch, made another stop before reaching dinner place at 7.30pm. at the stop, was @ d same shop as siwei kayee zhuge n chaihong :) lala. during dinner, my ulcer was giving me trouble, so i only managed one more sambal prawn that id have eaten more if i din haf d ulcer. this time round, i sat with the chouweis- chrystal chinyong junda grace tszshan yunxin yingchun primero. yawns. when we reached hotel, it was already past 10pm. den had chouwei meeting and water parade. hoo. my room at penang bayview hotel is 1537. sigh. was again disappointed when i found out the location and condition of my room. firstly, no connecting rooms when most of the others had. secondly, it quite far from certain ppl. thirdly, its d smallest room! anyway i had a wonderful night. went walking around to check if anyone broke curfew with chrystal, kelvinho, shirlene. in the end, we got stuck in the bloody staircase area cus the doors can only open one way. had to go all d way from 15 floor to 5th floor before we found our way from the carpark to the lobby. so maluating! ate at grace n yunxins room.. slept peacefully at night, managed to go aft sophia sleep and after she wake. funny man. i love my partner.

12th march, saturday- went to the high high floor for breakkie! got a nice view there. den had a tour of penang town- botanic gardens. woo it was chaotic there. anyway a monkey attacked chaihong n hongming who were eating icecream!

went to snake temple. explored with chrstal chinyong n junda. there was this rice art thing doing outside. quite tempted to do, but din. went to sleeping buddha. went back to bus early to play bridge with waikit, jenny, siying. den our next stop was at some kind of fort, where we took fotos with the sea as the background. some ppl went onto the swings nearby too. basically, the sightseeing was very little but ok la. went to buy local penang products too. managed to share one box of tau sa pia with shekkayee! den the irritating part came, where the silly tour guide brought us to a roadside stall to eat chendol! rah* im gonna box him man. take our shopping time! went to KOMTAR area for shopping. followed the 5 of them. but i ended up seriously regretting it la

. duno why i got so pissed when they went into popular or look at some girly stuff. maybe its because i already have things in mind to shop for. in the end, me and waikit walked off ourselves. i bought a skirt and a shirt. argh! stupid yelin say i buy skirt the sky will fall (tian hui ta xia lai). dinner was a some high up place. 59th storey. dinner was crazily mad. everyone started laughing. chouwei table was very lame, we played cai quan and crapped. thanks to yelin! the joke was: because we are very high up, everyone's very high. diaos.

evening, went to night market. it sucked la. cus no time to shop oso den jus chiong our way through. most of my time was spent making sure that yiliang n huiyi dun stray away from the group. some unhappiness happened btw yunxin n certain sec4s. what a drama. it got me into a foul mood. so pissed. at night, as usual, meeting n went room checking. den went to bed togther with sophia (surprised?) after eating. bad mood liao ma.

13th march, sunday- CONCERT day.

morning breakfast sat with kayee n siwei n some djy juniors. den aft tt went jenny siyings room stone awhile before heading for the concert place. the venue was kinda cool and professional. nice backstage too! i had fun taking fotos of the rehearsal, but had to leave halfway for KOMTAR to buy socks for certain someone who din wear. i was in charge of the packed lunch. with help from stanny,the tour leader, managed to rush to buy socks, den rush back to get the lunch in order and den brought the principal and some students who came late into the concert hall. alot of things happened backstage while i was away and busy. like slapping around literally.i thought itd be the worse concert ever. but it wasnt. i was backstaging for the concert. the items before the interval was pretty good. woah! esp mangchun which really made me happy

. prayed so hard. anyway lala. backstage was very happening during the concert. *duh with me around. told jokes, gossipped real lot and took fotos! lalala. veryvery happy

. esp when me siwei n kayee attempted to observe silly ppl going arnd attracting attention. and my dear brother who fools around with his camera. i think he's abit psycho. after concert, had dinner at some seaside place. duno why i was in a very bad mood and not hungry. so i decided to rest (aka sleep). siwei pangkiat thinks its very amusing to go around tapping on ppls shoulders to test their reactions.. too lazy to entertain them. at night in d hotel, played cards: mahjong, bridge and daidee with zhuge, jenny, siying, waikit. as usual, had meetings, water parade, den walked around. ooh. ate tausapiah n shared around with the ppl playing cards n it finished in no time. basically my day rocks due to concert backstage!

14th march, monday- headed for genting! i was quite pissed on that day, cus the organisation was bloody lousy. i had to take yellow bus for the day, cus the principal n ttk were sitting on the red bus. sat beside tanwahchwee. heng she talk to the tour guide cus i totally slept through everything. n cus i din get to go with my group. hais. took awhile to travel to the foot of genting where we were supposed to have our lunch. the yellow bus driver sucks, and the other groups had to wait for us for 50min?! then this caused a major delay in time. after lunch, we continued to ascend up the hilly areas to the cable car center. squeezed with kayee n siwei on the bus, but i ended up with less than 1/4 of my butt on the seat. at the cable car center, some juniors asked me if kayee was sitting next to me for dazus last time. lols if only? cable car that time, was super pissed. cus got ppl keep chapping into our queue even when we ourselves weren organised. den mdm ilyna keep asking me why im kiapped btw two outsiders. in the end i din get to sit with my group which is so horribly irritating. shared cable car with binghuan kelvinfeng and huiting. ok la. quite fun. we took fotos. i missed genting terribly. so got this nice feeling when we reached there finally. indescripable.

was kinda irritated at some points of time, cus apparently, im again as usaul, stuck between 3 diff grps of pple- duno to go with who. sigh, somemore some of them wanted to go to the theme park? its like choosing between being practical or jus having fun with ppl. anyway i was so damn glad that someone knocked their minds out of going to the theme park with only one hour to spare. thank that smart ass, whoever it is. met my mum at firstworld, went shopping with her! i bought jeans and bag. lalala- ate baked rice for dinner too! woohoohoo. went bowling. argh sians. gotta stop halfway cus those ppl were kinda late for study time? ha, den bought starbucks with kayee and siwei too- was it mocha or rhumba? anyway ya, meeting at night, mdm ilyana was damndamn pissed. water parade wasnt enjoyable too. basically i wasn in d best of mood. fortunately, went to 8927 (kayee n siwei) to do work for while before collapsing at 2am. the whole day today was spent avoiding ppl. i got quite ??!?! when * asked me a question at night after water parade. do u not trust me or do you not trust me? im quite disappointed in u la. adding to what happened in january, i don't quite know what to say abt you lorhs. maybe u do not mean what u say but can some ppl just think before you speak or do anything? im nt born to be doubted by ppl.

15th march, tuesday- i woke up early to get entertained by misslimsiwei n the mirror. hah. went back to pack n prepare. oso went to tower1 9771 to find my mum to retrieve my shoppin items. (gosh i left my computer on overnight. now its 10 and im back blogging!) basically for the morning in genting, i busied myself in rooms 8927(kayee), 9901(jenny) [come to think of it, after what i learnt this morning (18/03), i realised that its kinda ironic] and trying to get my socks to dry! in total, i spent less than 2hr in my own room 9902.

lala-after breakfast, assembled to go for the cable car trip down. this time, finally we stayed in our groups but come to think of it, it doesn make much difference. again, i had to go onto yellow bus for the day. the whole trip to our lunch destination, i was talking to mdmtanwahchwee. she was like telling me all the nonsense? bah- during lunch, i was damn pissed over certain stuff. sian diaos. sat with the sec4s. do u think i don't know what u ppl are talking abt? im nt angry tt u r talking amongst urselves. im jus pissed at the contents of ur conversation. you see, defending and standing up for your friends and the truth doesn really apy sometimes. den it was the bus ride to KL and the city tour. i was on the yellow bus for everything. and how wonderful. our ONE n ONLY red group group foto, i wasnt in it. cos some people claimed that i was too far to call.

what's up with the fucked up organisation ?

good la, i shouldn like have gone right. since im not even important in any way. before the trip everything also forget about me. after taking the foto also never tell me that they took. good lorhs. lucky i found out from someone later in the day. shopping trip was at the twin towers but we only had like 45min? i wanted to wait fo red group when yellow bus arrived early. sighs. this was the point of time i felt so lonely and sad? i detest being on the yellow bus. went walking around with junda chinyong n chrystal when the blue bus arrived shortly after cus the red bus took ages to come. basically, i think i saw some stuff that i wan buy, but they wanted to go on, so too bad lorhs. on the way saw some red grp ppl, felt so like joining them, but i din. "is it because i don't haf the habit of shoppin in groups, or i already haf something in mind to buy? alone amongst the sea of yellow. i felt so alone. wheres d emotional comfort that ive been seeking dur the msia trip? depresssed as i feel i haf to accept whats in for me. who asks me to be an alumni?" -this thought came to me back then in KL. the next stop was berjaya time square, where ive been looking forward to go. luckily, i met the red grp ppl! 6of them (jenny, siying, peifen, khaiqi, kayee, waikit) plus zhuge n siwei..rushed for the indoor theme park. lols. our first stop was the roller coaster! me, siwei and kayee was rushing for time, cus siwei needs to go early for practice. lala- took one ride, then sent siwei downstairs, before going for another ride. so thrilling and FUN! our second ride, we jumped queue from the end to the front! cus there were two seats left and the person let us go first! so climbed the freaking railing leaving many shocked

including missshek.

kayee should thank me for giving her this first time! yay. after that we rushed all the way downstairs for fear of being late. so fun. this time round, i din care, i took the red bus as there were seats left cus the djy ppl went for practice. dinner was jus ok. apparently jenny siying n waikit was talking amongst each other, leaving me and kayee half gossipin n half talking. sat with the juniors too- libing huiyi n ?. then it was the trip to our last hotel. took so freaking long cus the busses were only allowed in one by one. pah- the hotel is so freaking NICE. but i dun care. i prefer the cosiness of the first world hotel n the feeling that the bayview hotel gave me. AGAIN. im situated near jenny,siying, zhuge, binghuan..room 1122. that night after meetings n whatnots, went to sleep after going to 1115(kayee) to pei her until siwei comes then went to sleep cus i was too tired to entertain jenny and siying. furthermore, i did not have anything to say to them after lunchtime.

16th march, wednesday- woke up in a shockstate by kokjun ringing the doorbell and telling sophia that they were halfway through fenzu! it was already 11am. i missed breakfast, when i so happily reminded myself to wake early so tt i can go to visit the gym. argh. den rush rush rush..left for lunch. lunch time, our table went crazy. drank alot of chinese tea. esp siying. she went to the toilet 8 times after that! the 2nd concert venue sucked like shit. dampen my mood by alot. hmm, maybe because it was already the last day of the trip. and im spending it in a rundown old freaking building. fortunately, i got a nice backstage position,

managed to stay arnd nice people. i took the time they used for rehearsals to explore the whole freaking place cus i cant take pictures due to the lights not working. den busied myself with the food again. gosh i like mdm ilyana i like working with her for food. the period before the concert was the best. again sat down and observed some ppl, den played the hu..and talked. during the concert was at the audience seats taking fotos. yawns. but too bad i missed the first few dazu songs. geees. my camera kinda sucks la. but hais, nvm, was too lazee to go backstage to grab kayee's. gee. luckily i wasnt backstage, cus many like jenny, siying, keely and wenwen were busy snapping away, leading to certain ppl getting really angry. after concert, went back to hotel for supper. basically everything was going on all right, until my bloody camera ran out of batt. had to borrow kayees to use. some ppl were in a bad mood, like pangkiat n kelvinho..i was in the sian mood. went upstairs with zhuge cus i got too tired of waiting for mr taiwaikit who was busy helping the yellow grp gers take fotos!

17 march, thursday- (early morning past mnidnight) after water parade, went to celebrate mr zhuge's birthday!

yay! tiramisu cake was delicious i ate two pieces *oops* i swear ive grown fatter after the trip. den took pictures and had to go for chouwei meeting. after a crap meeting, we ordered

room service! on the house by tszshan and yingchun! yumyum i ordered brownie with icecream. lalala- after eating, crashed jenny's and siying's room. there were many ppl inside: zhuge, yiliang, chaihong, kianggei, jenny, siying, kelvinfeng, kokjun, peifen, khaiqi, wenwen, keely, waikit.. some security came in after awhile. den peifen, khaiqi left. the rest of us told ghost stories..n then there was this thing abt four ppl playing pranks! the principal mr sng was brought to tszshans room n our room. ha. jenny, chaihong, tszshan were busying themselves entertaining the security. i dun care. the night passed quite slowly, with me dozing off and the rest playing zong ji mi ma+ truth/dare.

soon, morning came, and the few of us went to eat: hongming, yiliang, kianggei, chaihong. assembly time, many were late. 8 from red grp overslept! hmm was i glad that i had to take the minivan? that i din haf to go onto red bus? maybe i was. justine, chrystal, me, chinyong, junda, primero was on the minivan with ttk. we played hearts! ok its my first game yet im the best player! woohoo. den took a few stupid pictures, went to buy local products, take group foto.. lunchtime was pretty fun. sat beside mdmilyana. sitting at the same table were: mr sng, tanwahchwee, sauweewee, mryeo, yingchun, tszshan, grace n primero. den after lunch, went all d way back to singapore with a stop at yongpeng again. when i saw the first sight of singapore, i got so freaking disgusted. i wished i was back in msia.

after debrief and talk from ttk, went to old airport road to eat with family. i wished i was back eating in msia, although i ate delicious food like pasta, soup, carrot cake, tempura..and my mum had to remind me abt my lost IC and EZ link card. i wished i was back on the N-S highway, still backstage in the concerts. sigh, duno when i'd be back to see all of them. now i haf to face hwachong, the people, the homework, the CCA, basically everything that cannot replace dhsco n the ppl in there. although many many bad things happened in msia, although really disturbing thoughts came to me then, i found that i could live with the problems there, cus there were ppl around to give me support. back here, all the unduly worreis keep coming. simply hate them. now im back to washing my own dishes, hearing my mother nag, basically everything that drives me CRAZY. rah* i'd rather sit on the yellow bus and hear tanwahchwee talk, i'd rather eat and leave the plates on the table, i'd rather drink chinese tea than lim kopi, i'd rather...everything but face my mother. even seeing my mother in genting is better than seeing her in singapore.

realised that i learn alot of this from CO, but most of them was brought to light to me by someone nice. if not, i wouldn haf sorted out my thoughts properly. jus this morning, i learnt not to be too trusting, and that ppl would betray you for their own pretty sake. god. being the person in the middle of everything isnt a nice feeling. really, what this person said to another person really made me think. although i knew thats what they've been feeling all this while, but come on la. think. werent u ppl the ones who even harboured the thought that i betrayed you or something like that? what person A, B or C? arent u jus wanting to get more ppl into the trouble? im nt saying tt im nice or anything, but if it were me, i would haf jus gone through it myself and let the rest think for themselves. i duno why u guys r so gd to me when u ppl take amongst urself abt me or whatever. sitting same table also dare to talk amongst urselves. i agree with khaiqi la, sometimes not knowing anything makes u happier. but i cant help it that i happen to be pro at guessing and being really sensitive and can think in others' position. it jus happens that i can tell what u ppl are talking about and happens that i get really pissed. but it just so happens that i cant slap u ppl for that as well.

ugly sides of ppl are revealed by time, pretty sides are revealed by actions over time. i duno wad i did to make yiliang suddenly say he realised that im a nice person. probably he thought i was in gang with xiaoting they all who condemns him all this while-

i duno if i have made a wasted trip to msia, i duno if ive enjoyed myself. but i cant bring myself to say that i'll miss msia trip like what i said for my past two trips overseas with dhsco. probably ive come to realise that not all things have to be said to be felt by others. ive realised that all actions show for themselves and carry more weight than mere words. well whatever, i should jus come back from heaven and try to settle down and be content with the mortal world. i really hope that nice things will just continue on and the bad things will change.

true friendships will sustain till the end, regardless of all obstacles and time apart.

13:34

-keeps me alive