memories-
Monday, March 07, 2005
i think the thing about having money is freaking bad.when i haf my own money finally. everything will come from my money. compared to last time when my parents would just give me the money, now they deduct it from my "money". i always thought that it was to serve as a motivation and for myself to spend. given a choice, i wouldn spend more than 10% on myself. given the system that you've chosen to adopt- the "so that u can gimme less money" system, i'll end up spending all on myself. i think this is ridiculous. i rather not have the money then.
FUCK? i lost my wallet today. freaking seh. and i still managed to make my way from kallang to dhs, frm dhs to kallang. frm kallang to police post and from police post to dhs. all by myself. initially i was worried. then i felt quite good cus like quite an experience lorh? first time going into a police post and i could deal with it alone, although i was worried sick about my IC being in it. it was when i made the report. and counted how much money was inside, i nearly died. all my possessions, erm i mean property..all of how much i own now is in the freaking wallet. guess what? a minute sum of $40 to you, makes a great difference for me. i could leave it intact in my wallet for months? and not finish using it. i think of how many ppl i can treat. how much food i can buy for myself. how much stuff i can buy to go msia trip. i know la, for some ppl, its not even enough to buy half a bag or one side of the shoe. but for me, its alot? really like ALOT?! everything abt my wallet is money. the $6 that i've managed to keep since 19th january until now (wenjing should know), with so many temptations to use it, i did not. the Ezlink card tt brings me all over singapore is gone. who gives a fuck about my IC? im worried abt the sum tt i haf to fork out for replacement fees of both ic and ezlink card. losing a 40 bucks is not enough. goddamn. i think i do not deserve to lose my wallet. and my money. how i wish ive gone on a shoppin spree before losing my wallet. how i wished ive spent some money on others before that. how i wish that the juniors did not return my money on that day. how i wished i had spent more on gongyan day! ARGH. anything but losing the fuckin wallet.
what now? finish up my freaking 600 bucks?
i went back to dhs today. d ppl there cheered me up. of cus. co rocks. itd always cheer me up. unless of course, apart from a certain period of time last year. i had alot of fun there. yups. probably becos i have no worries abt tutorials no worries abt anything but my flown away 40bucks. besides, i could openly discuss my thoughts on certain stuff like my brother? yup. i think he's been giving me alot of my headaches recently. as ive predicted to wk, jenny n pf, he did of course jump at the opportunity to shoot at me again. this time for my wallet. but then later i caused him to get scolded by mum. so it evens out. HA. jus look at the kind of *face he showed to chinyong and how close is he to phangkokjun. its not birds of the same feathers flock together. its birds who have no other birds to flock with flock together. ask me why am i saying all these bad stuff about my brother? he doesn respect me. he thinks hes my father. he doesn appreciate what im telling him. so FORGET IT! he purposely wanna attract attention by showing guailan actons while playing, purposely spoil the music by playing as loud as he can. purposely act seh think he very cool by refusing the freaking flower that i purposely bought for him. somemore say "throw away la". my mum doesn give a fuck. maybe because i dun tell her. i dunwan to be labelled as some tell-tale-pot or something. whatever la.
wk called me not too long ago. feels nice. i think sometimes talking on the fone is good too. apart from jus blogging. cus i really am beginning to feel that the blog is not the only avenue of expressing out your thoughts. besides u can get immediate human response. lols.
someone posted a comment on my livejournal blog d one abt gongyan. i think my reply was d most true entry tt ive ever typed in weeks? ya la.
life goes on. im gonna be damn slack this week. read my previous entry n read tt im looking fwd to msia trip. sians. keep thinking about my money and of cus another issue that ive just raised to wk on d fone. hais. duno wad to do. cus its only out of guilt and thankfulness that i will do one thing. but i wanna do another thing that i will definitely enjoy and been looking forward to instead. sians. im in a dilema.
anyway. i feel quite satisfied after reading a blog.
goodbye.
22:56
-keeps me alive
