memories-
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
i took myself away from studying Bio jus to come update. sighs.
past 3 days nv update here liao..reason was because i typed blog late at night and always end up talking nonsense so din post in d open blog. gah-
saturday was canoeing in d morning. blah it rained heavily! but stopped awhile later. canoe for one hour plus nearly two non-stop quite tiring. den later found out tt i got abit sunburnt! but the sun wasnt that hot wad.. den went back to dhs. had a very enjoyable time there :) den went out to eat..with junda chrystal chinyong. wilson joined for a few minutes.
sunday rocks too. went primero' s house to play mahjong with chinyong wilson primero. yay. den at night got dinner to celb my grandma's bdae.
basically my life so far has been good. until yesterday. got back Olevel results. sians. den now besically im in a big dilema.
old frens vs new frens (both)
smaller social circle vs bigger social circle (big)
eng vs chi environment (chi)
CO vs CO (i wana join co but HCCO jus puts me OFF!)
sent to sch vs taking bus to sch (sent la)
nearer to dhs vs further frm dhs (nearer)
being in a familiar place vs being in new place (but ive jus adapted to d new placE)
having to readapt vs being comfy in d same environment (comfy)
less competitive vs more competitive (less)
less seniors vs more seniors (more)
basically as u can see. im dying trying to make a decision btw two JCs. im greedy n undecisive. what if i decide to stay?
will it affect relationships with present friends?
will it cause me to be stressed abt studying?
will i regret it ultimately?
what if i decide to MOVE?
i will join the CO n b happy there.
i will be nearer to dunman high n my juniors!
i can play more.
i will lose the 3mths in HC.
miss HCanoe
miss a few ppl in HC
will i regret in the end?
maybe i shud jus STAY n go back more and keep in contact with the rest. seems like a nice solution but where do i find time? being nearer to dunman perhaps isnt really a very good reason for me to change jc. but of cus i dun prefer hcco to the other one. the co is attracting me. i think i wana join back co but the mere thought of hcco chases me away. if i join i join becos its co. most importantly the ppl is affecting me. if i dun stay i feel damn bad to hc ppl. and i'd hafta spend time to adapt in the new jc. if i stay. tt'll mean less of old frens. i think im stupid. i think i wana change jc. MOE gives us only ONE pathetic week to decide n im left with 3days to make a wise choice tt i wud not regret. before release of results. i pray tt i can stay in HC. i think i should rephrase it. i prayed that i will do well. im veri indecisive.
Anyway, back to monday. release of results? hung around with 4H'04 girls before d release and managed to find my juniors just before d release! i feel damn relaxed. maybe because results doesn really matter to me? cus i think i hate studying. i din expect alot. i thot i'd not do very well..so went arnd telling sum ppl tt if i get a 6, i'd treat them! then, results were released. as usual im the first person to receive my results, took quite a while to figure my L1R5 and found tt its way above my expectations la. but come to think of it. if i'd studied harder n not slack that much, i'd have scored an even better result yeah.
i tell ppl i dun feel happy they wun believe la. but really where to choose is a pressing problem. anyway talking abt results. xyz ppl did rather well. so we'll be treating wang lao shi. how great. thank you hostel ppl for stressing me. den i studied. if not i think i would be even slacker. WEIQI! thanks for helping my humanities. alot. actualli i knew my bio n phy wun do as well as d other subj liao. so sian. rmbr phy tt day i was so sad. my bdae summore.
im tired of scoring above my own expectations. but its a good thing la. sian. i hope my parents doesn't adopt the thinking that i will always do ok. actualli i think there's like injustice done. ppl who studied so hard, studied more, mug alot dun get the fruits of their labour tt they deserve while me slack alot, dun study, play alot get something tt i dun deserve. bah. im not proud of my results cus i think its doesn prove anything. i still think im stupid, slack n nothing else!
dhscogongyan's coming. thought of alot of fun activities! lols- but i duno if they'd eventually be carried out. im looking forward to gongyan. n M'SIA trip? think of msia trip will think of stupid chrystal. i hope tt she will enjoy it there. think of msia trip also think of my beloved roommate. think of msia trip will think of lot of things. i duno whether i look forward to it anot. shud be lah. since everything is so nice now. only one thing is putting me off -shhh-
biology test is on a very stupid day in a silly week. its this thursday! when its officially the last day for me to decide where i wanna spend the next two yrs of my life. and now of cus no mood to study at all. water, carbo, lipds, proteins and enzymes. its alot to absorb. and i think i cant do it. shall fail it then. blahs.
think think think. i decide to rank the proximity to dunman high the last now. i think i will eventually either willingly or not remain in HC. if only...i could move HC to marine parade and change HCCO. *dreams on*
ooh ya, let me continue. monday, which is yesterday i slept at 1.30am! thanks to some great person. kept my ears glued to the phone since arnd 10plus! i think it beats my record of 2hr 55min with guanyee.
my mum knows that i've got a test. n she is making me go wit her to update my bro's passport and go pray at the guanyin temple later. gosh. u know what? im so lucky i stayed in the hostel. if not i bet my results will be far far far worse. cus halfway thru studying i'll hafta entertain her, entertain my bro, entertain my dad!
lols. i shud end soon and continue studying my first set of biology notes. thou i dun see the point. bye! and happy guessing my results! oh i must freaking find time to change my LJ background. heard that the entries background is on some words too! shucks it doesn say so on my nice com! lols- those who find it a strain on their eyes can go to http://sharon_ang88.blogspot.com instead.
12:32
-keeps me alive
