memories-
Thursday, October 13, 2005
dis is like gona b a random entry. like rojak anyhow throw points. no brains to organise them.
WDH. huh? tml last day of j2's school. how come i din noe :( den im not going. den cant see liyu...mayb like ever again. go also no use. ppl got class wun entertain me. at least met jieying n jiamin today! ha.
tell u ah. too long nv mix arnd with anyone. time weaken the feeling de. better haf xian yue gathering soon. at least training starting le.
duno. suddenly very moody. duno wad to type.
been messaging cassandra from yc laos humanitarian trip for the whole day. she quite good la. owaes message me can still keep in contact. -nods-
duno is pw or wad. leave me with only one months plus nt even two months holiday. suddenly feel like there's not enuff time in the world for me. grrrr. maybe i feel that i hafta do things like meeting liyu before 9th dec. but dats impossible cus shes friggin busy. or cus i suddenly thoought of how many activities i haf in addition to the already busy training schedule n like not fixed so cant arrange properly.
jus heard got dhscoxyz chalet. got 05S7E chalet. got xianyue camp. got hccoxyz stayover. -mite haf 603 chalet, mite haf 4I chalet- ohho. alot rite. dere is nt enuff time in d world man.
oh god.
today go school for PW only. den aft tt go meet parents see car. see very long lor. and only got few colours. but dad wanted it for qt long. so got it. erm. duno why suddenly change cars. mum got a car like 3plus mths ago. now another one. but nvm la. feel abit bad. money is need to save one. but car. maybe dey need it la.
acty i duno wad i want. to b alone. or to be with frens. keep thinking mus org outing here and there, yet i dun really feel enthu abt it. i am mad. maybe im jus worried dat if come tog dun haf anything to sae to each other or wad. cus im d kind of person dun haf alot of in depth stuff to sae to a person wad. so outing mus b movie dat kind no need to talk de. or card games or mahjong can jus talk abt the game de.
i duno. im so confused by myself over these few days because of this. most of the times i rather stay at home than go out. why then do i keep thinking of outings?
u noe wad. duno been quite impulsive in deciding whether i like someone or not. sigh. there's this one person. dat suddenly pissed me off. n i think i dun like dat person already. but i cant dun like dat person cus..aiyah cant means cant la. argh. im confused again.
i tell you. i think i siao le. talking to my "impersonator" (which is like myself) on a conversation. damn fun. hahah. so im not bored or confused le. focus on the convo!
sigh. maybe im trying to self amusement park to keep myself frm thinking or doing nonsense. left yaoxu online only now. argh. tml liyu's last day of sch. u know im really scared wun haf chances to c her le.other dan some xianyue othing thingy. like know her only 10months plus, not even one yr. like joke on me huh. duno. but like quite certain wun haf lotsa time tog after these days. oh how i hate last days. last days are sucky.
but aiyah duno why i so silly la. heaven has always given me chances -oh im back ranting abt chances- like playing yuefei again aft screwing sec3 syf, like meeting up with my beloved seniors in jc again..like..lotsa stuff. maybe dere will be chances given to me again!
argh.duno wad im talking abt. jus talking to a conversation like to myself liddat. cus apparently yaoxu isnt replying.
why am i me? sych a dumb question. but sometimes i really dun undst myself. sigh. im jus like two diff person.
sharon siao already. know wad? yaoxu now put her nick as sharon_* and starting to talk to me like a sharon. but its really wierd cus i suddenly felt much more comfortable. like wow. magic. my name works magic. duno wad im doing too. i think i really throw face la. throw all my face away. next time no face to see dem already. sigh. but i felt so luan n confused. den i started using another acct to talk to sharon_* den i started feeling better n happier. guess red n blue sharon must talk together den will make real sharon feel happy. well. make any sense out of it?
been blogging since sec2. but duno wad my blog really serve as la. for a place to anyhow throw thots or wad. haha jus to make me feel dat got ppl reading my stuff den i'll talk one. like jus now, if left blue sharon talking to red sharon, sharon wun talk one. funny hor. seriously i dun undst sharon la. wierd fella. frm ujournal, to livejournal, to xanga den to blogspot. history goes a long way man. can really see myself change frm a nonsense sec2 kiddo who totally dun reveal herself on blogs..to now i reveal more. but of cus. sharon can nv sae all of wad she thinks la. cus let-me-tell you. d real sharon is an evil monster. rwarrh!
dno y ppl sae my entries vlong. but i duno. i thot i could type longer. duno. but i type alot of nonsense la.
tml shall go tj open house. ha. to feel young. yup. suddenly dun feel like blogging already.
sharon really got personality swing siah. one moment blog like nobody's business den nxt moment clam up. well. -shrugs- maybe she'll try to catch some sleep soon.
**oh no let me sae wad happened jus now la. rmbr i was feeling lousy? den was on mass convo with classmates too. den i got two MSN accts ma. one with red font n one with blue font. hence red sharon and blue sharon.blue sharon was talking to her classmates. but blue sharon doesn have emoticons! so blue sharon ask libo to add red sharon into convo, intending to leave convo after red sharon has entered. but blue sharon decided not to leave. thus, there were 2 sharons talking in the mass convo now! the two sharons were crazy, accusing each other of impersonating the other and confusing all others but libo in the convo. but the two sharons, not on purpose sounded different, hence haoran concluded that the less vulgar blue sharon was the real sharon. but the real master sharon was feeling so happy n self-amused already, instead of being lousy. but everyone starting to go sleep. until left yaoxu. she left too cus she cant stand being left with two unknown sharon. but blue sharon started talking to her. and yaoxu changed her name..the rest u know le.
22:36
-keeps me alive
