```iamsharonang--

memories-

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

finally here again. alot to update over the new year period i guess?
as usual shall start from where i ended off.

saturday 28/01/06 (CNY eve)
training was "optional" and i chose not to go, to "please" my mum (you will know why later). had reunion LUNCH at grandma's. hmms usual relatives la, dad's side aint big. i was introduced to the 'World's best Love Letters'. YUM. however, dinner isnt as exciting. ate what we took away from grandma's. yup. dats it. watched the CNY countdown as well as some weird movie. cant help but feel that the festive mood isnt really building up. oh yeap i will switch my mobile off every eve of some special day, cus im too lazee to beat the sms traffic or to read loads of wishes. heh.

sunday 29/01/06
its Happi New Year! CNY's always nice. cus we are chinese and its our new year! :) im super proud of being chinese. routine for every year: wake up, change take photos, go pray at two different places then visiting. however this year, woke later, did not take photos. went uncle mike's to pray. ate vegetarian lunch before proceeding to the guan yin temple to pray. as we were later, there wasnt much of a crowd like last time (still alot of ppl-people mountain, ppl sea). but still, the heat's making me perspire in my new outfit. sigh, this year, ppl born in the year of the dragon's supposed to have offended the tai sui ye. i don't like it when its my turn to offend tai sui ye:( the jouney to uncle mike's was something to remember. because it was that time last year that i received 'an sms'.

routine1. lunch at grandma's again. i don't like this part of the new year "tradition". cus eating at the same place for two consecutive days is quite boring. did not eat as i was on full-day vegetarian along with my mum.

routine2. visit maternal grandma. story goes: 3rd uncle sold his flat (where grandma used to live.) mum thought grandma was living with small aunt. mum has feud with small aunt. mum din wanna visit grandma one 1st day of CNY. however. LUCKILY. grandma, affectionately known as "waipo", is staying at fourth uncle's house, along with his family and 2nd uncle, who is recovering from stroke. complicated huh. dad doesn like mum's family cus they arent really nice to mum. sigh but i like waipo. she used to stay with us and look after me when i was young. as mentioned, mum has some kinda 'thing' with small uncle and small aunt. such that she doesn recognise them already. since i was super young. pri school. i duno wads so big, such that it isnt even possible to forgive or forget your own siblings' wrongdoings. if i were mum, i'd feel so heartbroken. sigh. how complicated. i feel for waipo. how would she feel if she sees a divided family? sigh...

anyway. its a happy visiting. two small cousins has grown bigger. older. and i like fourth uncle's wife. there's a nemo tank in their house! and uncle played 'findin nemo' for us to watch. heh i bet my mum enjoyed it more than me. she likes cartoon and cute stuff! i got the support group joke that miss lim was talking about not too long ago. hah. ...drum rolls. when we were going to leave. small aunt came with her children, my cousins. at first i dun recognise her, after not seeing her for more than 8-9years? or maybe 10?. being the usual nice girl (hah), i said "HI" immediately. sensed something wrong when she said happi CNY to mum and mum refused to open her golden mouth. wow. cold war. i duno wad exactly happened.. it was an akward situation and small aunt immediately went "wah lau, duno how to answer" in teochew. we left.. i was feeling very very perturbed. i rmbr yrs ago, they were having some argument in mum's office, where small uncle used to work. such that even $10 became a topic for argument. sigh.. adult's business. but i hope they can make up. but i dun think so. stubborness runs in the genes i guess?

next destination: mum's godmum's house. its the happy-go-lucky house. lots of people. nice people. i love visiting there. i always wonder though, the people are really that nice, such that even mum doesn feel like an outsider there..? but me n my bro arnt close to the kids there la, cus they are like real cousins. hence, my entertainment there would be to listen to the adults talking. hmm. i remember last year, i brought my biology notes to the poolside to read. lots of ppl. haha fiona xie's mum, affectionately known as "xing1 ma1" came w/o the star, but with the brother. same age as my bro. haha. hear updates abt fiona xie n adults' talk.. i really wun mind staying there longer.

i love to eat dua cai. (big vege) its a teochew dish. super yummy. ate it twice today =X and i love vegetarian abalone too.

monday 30/01/06.
2nd day of CNY. manage to psych everyone to go to GYM with me. muahah. yesterday i was already itching to exercise. so yeah went to SGCC gym, before going to watch the lion dance performance. long long performance. lasted an hour. its really nice. our 2nd day morning and afternoon usually spent at SGCC. this year, auntie elizabeth, uncle ronnie (family friends) and their girl rachel came to join us. lunched together at serangoon garden market. mum and bro spent their time at SGCC, while me and dad opted to go home.

decided to try shopping for ingredients for oreocheesecake. NTUC closed. coldstorage dun sell thickened cream. how sad. went home to sleep instead, before going to dad's bro house for dinner. i ate alot. (stares at my food log).

left there quite early. 7plus 8 plus? decided it was too early to head for home. heh. went all the way from pasir ris to jurong west to visit mum's aunt, affectionately known as "lao gou". jurong. where i once reside. where my childhood memories are. sigh. i wana live in my jurong house again. i once dreamt that i lived there and jieying and co came to my house. haha. very sweet dream. anyway yah. there were two kids there.belongs to mum's aunt's daughter. mixed blood. aaron is the younger one. still baby. hoho. he's so difficult to handle at first, keep sticking to his uncle (meng chye: teacher at SJI). and then. hah for some reason he started to like me. and i had to carry him for long periods of time to look at the balcony scenery. my brother was busy entertaining his older brother with my dad, playing fighting games. hoho. it was a big thing when we all had to leave. the older kid wanted to pack his stuff to come to our house. the younger didn want anyone else to carry him. he cried and cried and wailed and wailed. still, we had to leave.

Tuesday 31/01/06
3rd day of CNY. there was optional training. mum did not let me go. despite me being all prepared to go last night. sigh. she niao-ed me the whole morning. sigh. i really dun understand why they cant support me at all?

lunch was at dad's office at harbourfornt center STET. there was lion dance, yusheng, mr.god of fortune and buffet! and wow a big game of black jack. the woman was holding a wad of hundred dollar bills, compliments from the boss.

again, tried in vain to get ingredients for oreo cheesecake. brother went for tuan bai at yanyi's house, dad went for meet the minister session..mum went jackpotting again. left me alone at home. i think. sleeping or doing work.

dinner was at aunt emilyn's house. another family friend. played daidee the whole night. and then..i thought of school the next day. suddenly i remembered that we dunmanians have off to go back to dunman high! whee- only 4 periods of lessons! muahaha

wednesday 01/02/06
school starts. went to school with brother. he had to reach at 6.45am cus of long teng. dad and i drove to ECP and slept till 7.30am. sang the national anthem slowly. not live band. but still, its great! i met teachers too. dunman high still rocks. but i was quite sian after watching performances and seeing teachers. cabbed back to dhs. ate break. then went for lessons. again. chem and GP. today, i finally took foto with the DHSxplore banner, still prouldy hanging at the foyer! whee. planning for dhsxplore really leave me with good memories. like for eg, taking bus and passing by youth park. you'll go "hmm, this was one of the checkpoints"..

there was training. and im still on a k1.long distance. tonight was a "crisis" night. i ate like nobody's business. i slacked like nobody's business. i duno why. i wanted to msg one of the canoeists to seek help. but aiyah. nvm.

Thursday 02/02/06
school officially starts again. its a long list for my food log. :(

Friday 03/02/06
haoxia mysteriously turned up for training. when i look so super unglam paddling on the K1. he must have thought so too.

its dinner time at my house! aunt emilyn and family, uncle ronnie and family, aunt alison and family.. all turned up for teochew porridge dinner at my house! yay. totlly forgetting that i have training the next day, i ate and played into the night. i was still eating at 11.30pm. they left at midnight. i went to bed immediately.

Saturday 04/02/06
juniors here! we ran the 3.2km route. and then..paddling. tookout the k1 already. then haoxia went "sharon go with wenqi" and i thot its the pairing up system. sigh.. like i can paddle so fast. and then i asked "go what?".. realised its taking k2! omg everyone's dream for now. haha. but k2 is stressful. we paddled longD. and did the 3min thing too. boy, that was energy draining.i never ever felt so fast, so pia on a boat. and then, i understood what sprint kayaking really meant. but we werent fast enough still.

tiring saturday deserves a good dinner. finally we had a GREAT dinner at Jumbo Seafood Restaurant @ SGCC. YUM. ordered the new year set costing $138 for 4pax. its really great. here go: "2 bowls Sharksfin soup. 3 cheese prawns.3 pieces chilli crab. 1 fried bun. yamring + scallop.eefu noodles.steamed fish. honeydew sago" my best new year dinner. i feel so satified. that's what food does to me. it makes me go GA-GA.

Sunday 05/02/06
hrms.nothing much happened.we had homecooked dinner. finally :) dreading the next week of school.

Monday 06/02/06
training was fun. th ABCD sets. i paired with amanda i think the weights were adequate. i think they announced that Thursday no physics S. man how happy can i get. i hope more of this happens. i was happy for the rest of the few days.

Tuesday 07/02/06
1st maths S lesson. im no smart girl. i feel stressed in hwa chong. everybody starts mugging and doing hw.. sigh. i get supper irritated when i see ppl reading notes. even if they r my gd friends.

Wednesday 08/02/06
There's training! k2 with wenqi. oh my. wenyi and leilei's k2 is fast. like duh.
juniors came today too! and did circuits with us :)

Thursday 09/02/06
HAPPY day. no physics S. chiong home do HW. so that next week can slack. its atiring week next week. yup and i managed to clear some. yay. what a nice buffer day. at night.. however, just before i fell asleep, i thot of cancelling my trip. it was jus an inspiration. i duno wad to do.

Friday 10/02/06
talked to sheila and yanling. elaine nv replied my 2nd message. sigh. im in a dilema. Training! tiring. i think saturday 3min thing really drained every bit off me. mon,wed and fri felt so terrible.

Saturday 11/02/06
training. slacker. cus long distance. but we did two hours to prep for marathon. boy. tiring. i have to tell myself not to shut down. the fun part was junior's training. we followed xiuyi on a t1. me and amanda with her. i never felt so good on a t1 before la! whee! saved her quite a few times. but i think i felt accomplished looking at her improve. heehee.

dinner! dhscoxyz reunion. was disappointed that the seniors din go. oldest was jieying's batch. sigh. it was a marina bay, not a very nice place. hmm. i duno. i dun think we as close as before. i wish i was back in dhs. in dhsco. sigh. well, but sharing table with junda and chinyong and sizhao and kelvin isnt really BAD. chinyong and junda were especially nice, cus we were trying to cheat in a game of cai quan. we all gang up to make juniors lose. hurhur. chinyong is funny. and long time no see wang lao shi! well, i found out that my chinese never deteoriate alot la. how i miss speaking chinese. speaking chinese in hc is like funny cus i can never speak right. even liqia speaks english to me. cool. its sad that i cant go with chinyong n jieying's batch to play pool cus im a guai girl and decided to go home at 10pm :)

Sunday 12/02/06
event: after tuition, went toapayoh. decided to buy ingredients for cheesecake. finally found Bulla Thickened Cream. happened to find a superb deal for angel andmortal present. two cups for $1.05. how adequate for an unresponsive angel and lousy mortal. hiaks.

mum made chesecake with me. and we decided that every week shall be baking week. cake every weekends. i hope that plan works. i shall have great cakes every week.

dinner at grandma's.

Monday 13/02/04
can you see im rushing? there's a valentine's day cake waiting for me in the fridge. haha. erm. was stressed for the day cus of Vdae presents :( training was okay. ran with amanda after training. den rushed to toapayoh to buy stuff for presents. i thank god that what i had in mind was available! met cheegake at popular. then saw her at value$ shop too! haha.

did the presents til 1am. but i thot they looked kinda nice, compared to last year's lousy ones that i rushed out after family friends left our house..yeap.

Tuesday 14/02/06
Today. Happy Valentine's Day. everything went smoothly. i din forget ppl. i got presents for the ones who least expected to get from me. and i received nice stuff from the hcanoe ppl and classmates. i like amanda's magnet! and rina's pin and everything. thanks all. i met my angel and mortal. and decided that my angel isnt a nice guy. hrmph.

school went on as usual. however, i cant help thinking about events last year. vdae. and it led me to think abt drama feste night last year. sigh. it isnt nostalgia if you all thought so..

anyway, all things aside, haoxia told us NO physical activities other than stretching today. running plans for after school was thwarted. went Imperial Treasures to eat with amanda lee instead. had wonderful "sharkfin dumpling soup. xiao long bao. raddish pastry and dumpling". super duper yummy. i feel ncie, satisfied and energised. yaoxu and liying were selling roses for charity :) hah. went back for mathsS. he ended lessons early and i went home feeling like a zombie. i need to sleep soon.

i think my family cant wait. i shall go prepare the cake and go cut! btw its my parent's anniversary today!

yum. back with some blackforest cake in my tummy. sigh got landstroking after cross country tml. i was just planning how to spend my another liberation day:( somehow im hoping for a miracle tomorrow. if only i can run as fast as i can run!

i hope there are still tickets for dramafeste. the word dramafeste still gives me a prickly feeling due to last year. anyway, last year dramafeste i was sitting with jieying! :) i hope this year one is nice too! day after last year's dramafeste, i went back to dunman high. its something significant to me.

the week is pretty strenuous. tml's cross country. sunday's kayak marathon 28km. i hope we can last. get well soon wenqi, my partner :) i cant do without you!

bleaghs. life sucks. the weeks fly by.. time passes so quickly. block test one's coming up. sigh. i dun wanna disappoint myself or my parents. but.... everybody's working hard. while im trying to, i just cant. im always preoccupied with thoughts. lessons are just so "nan2 ao2". school is boring. and i cant stand everyone around studying. its the best day today, letting your hair down for once. the handphone is the greatest invention, yet the others are also too busy to reply much.. jieying's working. i duno where's liyu.. and the juniors are schooling. everyday i dont look forward to afterschool, but to the weekends. every weekend, i look forward to the next weekend and hope time can freeze. if hc's like that now, how am i going to pull through when the big As draw nearer, as some people care for themselves and their grades more than they do for others around? okay, nobody i know is really that selfish la. but.. i duno. i was just glad that i had jieying around during my promos period.everyday i look forward to ponning lessons to seeing her in the reading room. its wonderful to have someone guide you through things that you dont understand. now, i look around me..i dun even understand anything in class! that day during chem practical, i couldn even understand a single thing.i felt like i was really going to die and cry and no one around gave a damn. cus they are smart okay? and im not.

when you dont have something, you'd realise its importance. when you have them, you take them for granted. i need my pillar that i can lean onto. i wonder if jieying feels that she's being appreciated. i love her lots

i think my life's too full of routines. that today, when i had the tiniest bit of free time, i felt at a loss. cus i wanted to run. its like other than train, eat, go home and sleep i know nothing else.

times are different. things have changed. what used to be there isnt. what needs to be there isnt. what i need most -- isnt there too. i have no one that understands me truly in hc now. but that i cant blame too. where's jiamin? who knows exactly how i feel abt co. bleagh the more i think the more i feel sad. kayee isnt in the same school. but she always seem to know what's best for me. i am so weak. always relying on others. what shall i do next time?

20:30

-keeps me alive